good bye rebecca

An email I received from Don this morning…

Rebecca died this morning at 4:25 am. She’d been suffering from liver problems and anemia for the past week. Her last act before dying was to wet my bed, proving that she knew best that final rule of comedy-leave them with a joke-and was always a better comedian than me. She was 12 years old.

To know Don is to know that he loved that dalmation. I’ve never owned a pet, but I do understand the pain of loss. Life goes on, and I send all my best wishes.

i think it might be worth it now

Holy crap on a stick. Who said it could snow today? I swear, when I find the person who is responsible for this, they’re fired. Five, six, ten inches? This is totally unacceptable. At this time of year, we pride ourselves in the ability of having our days get warmer, sunnier, and pleasant. Actions of which we have witnessed today cannot stand. Some one must be held responsible. I don’t care who it was and how long they’ve been here, but they must face the results of their actions. I have had it up to here with this snow hoo-hah. You should be ashamed of yourself.

And do you ever feel like the world is out to get you? I had that happen to me tonight. It was more like a shooting gallery. As I drove home, the world seemed to jump out at me, left and right, seeing how good my reflexes were. This car would slam on its brakes. That car decided to back out of an ally. This guy decided to push his car door open all the way and get out from his spot on the side of the street. And this girl decides that when making a left turn, yes, yellow means “hurry up before you get the red light of death!” I felt like Tackleberry going through a course in Police Academy. Who is friendly, and who is foe. It was like everyone had some form of death wish. Why does snow do that to people?

My brother turned… older yesterday. A good party, but I ate too much. Good leftovers, too. I ate too much of those as well.

substation radio tower broadcasting big band stars


If there hasn’t been a better time for the weekend to come, today is the day. It’s been quite the week. In the times of budget issues facing so many people these days, we took the first hit at the end of this week. It’s just the way life is, but the first time that I have ever seen it happen first hand. That’s just the way the world of business goes, especially in this industry. Money is tight. Corners are being exploited as much as they can be. I wish her the best and hope that it doesn’t get worse from here on out.

I guess I have some personal blame for making this week end on a strained note like it has, but for good reason. John Vanderslice was in town on Thursday night. Such a talented individual What really gets me is his love for the four track. I guess I kind of equate it to my obsession for radio, but his is much more pretty than what I do. Quite a full house, which I didn’t expect. Indie rock fans get on my nerves some times, though. I guess the more apathetic you look, the cooler you must be. And if you are lying in a corner sleeping, you are just the top dog. I tried my hand at some pics of the show and have them posted. Crowded, so I couldn’t get as close as I hoped. Late nights make for long days.

Friday found myself listening to the sounds of The French Kicks and The Walkmen. Simply put, nothing short of an amazing, good time. The place was packed. I figured that it would be busy, being the end of the week and all, but the turnout greatly overshadowed my expectations. The music did as well. Wonderful… two more bands that I need to get my hands on.

Being as social as I have been in the last few nights, I have ran into people that I haven’t seen in a long while. It seems to be a common theme, and every time it happens, it always surprises me how many people I know in this town. The constant response that people give me is about my weight. “You’re so frail!” “My god, have you lost, like, a hundred pounds?” “What happened to all the pounds?” Yes, I used to weigh 245 pounds. Yes, I have lost nearly ninety pounds over the few years. It’s amazing what giving up junk food, fast food, pizza, and being lazy can do for you. I assure you, it’s not drugs, anorexia, bulimia, or the ebola virus. However, thanks for noticing. By the way, I’m doing great.

Seriously, can some one tell me when I’m getting my iPod? “Bueller?… Bueller?… Bueller?…

it’s a very, very mad world

Can’t be sure why, but what has happened in Spain has me absolutely dumbfounded. Without going into the politics of everything, this makes no sense to me. Stories of the dead laying next to the trains, their cell phones ringing as loved ones struggle to reach them. It’s over there, but it’s been here. You know what this is like. Today is the eleventh day of the month. It’s unnerving. It’s scary. It’s sad.

I don’t care who you are or what you believe in. There is no excuse. There is not a good explanation. They were going to school. They were going to work. They were travelers. A lot of people who were hurt and killed today were just living their everyday, normal life. Screw your political beliefs. I believe in the right to live.

i’ll be the fire escape

My hair grows at an alarming rate. I forgot this fact. I also seemed to forget about waking up with bed-head. And getting haircuts. It’s just another thing to tack on my lists of things to do. And as if that wasn’t enough, I elect going to get my haircut by cosmetology students. I don’t ask for much, and the way I like to style my hair, no worries. The worst that could happen is that I get a bad haircut and shave it all off again. I don’t really want to, but it’s an option. If that does happen, what the heck am I going to do with all these hair products I own now?

I uncovered my stash of Radiohead the other night. Now I have a hard time deciding what to listen to at night when I go to bed. Usually, I like ambient effect of my fan to help my sleep at night. White noise is good, but the fan died on me. More so, I broke it when I took it apart to fix it. Bowery Electric is usually my fail safe method of putting me to sleep. In fact, I’m so conditioned to it, just hearing it makes me sleepy. Now I’m bouncing back and forth between the two. Both are very dreamy and meditative. Very good stuff.

Talked to Brian last night. I’m starting to think that NYC is my trip of choice for this summer. He said that I can crash at his place, so that’s a good plan for now. Lately I’ve been staying up too late either making neat noises with my bass or working on my resume. I know I’m not quite ready to make that leap yet, but it’s worth seeing what I can find out there. See what mischief I can get myself into. Talking to my friend Carrie the other night, she pointed out the fact that my last time out there found me being asked for directions like I was a native should tell me something. More so, the fact that I knew the answers is telling in itself.

My nephew Anthony is eight years old today. The kid is quick in wit and strength. Wish I could make the party tonight, but I made sure to see him yesterday.

i drive the wrong way, i’ll drive my own way

I had a long day at the station yesterday. There’s a lot going on, but what’s new? To end it all, I got the job to record a live performance at a church that will be broadcast at a later date. It was a hour and a half duet consisting of an accordion and a recorder. This wouldn’t sound very interesting, but it really surprised me. I was pretty beat by the time everything kicked off, and sleep wanted to take over me as the sounds were quite soothing at times. There was nothing polka about this. If it wasn’t for the fact that I had to be there, I wouldn’t have been. I’m really glad I was. However, I would have loved the chance to see Don Caberllero at Gabe’s last night.

Some other interesting news in my disease known as radio is that the KRUI bid for new equipment is done. By that, I mean my colleague George Nicholas, who I pushed to get the project when this whole thing started two years ago, got the contract. In the time that I have known him, we’ve become good friends, with the aid of Jim, since I left. With the onset of this latest round of good news, George is going to let me help him with the install of equipment. Besides the experience of working next to some of the best professionals in the business, I get to help finish what I help start. I’m volunteering my time. I get to see it through to the end. That’s the only pay off I need.

I took half of today off to hit an appointment with my eye doctor. I couldn’t have picked a better day to do it if I tried. I ran 3.4 miles this morning, got a few quick problems worked out at the station, and hit the road by midday. The sun was out. Barely a cloud in the sky. As long as I kept my coat on, I could drive with the window down. You have no clue how much my heart screams for the sun to bring on the heat. In the meantime, new contacts and glasses will have to suffice. The return of hair and new glasses. Wonder what’s next?

Got a phone call from my sister-in-law that my niece and nephew were geeking out in the Apple Store in Chicago. We’re not related at all…

one part lullaby, two parts fear

One of the strangest things that I have every experienced is making music, listening to it, and thinking that I might have come up with some really interesting, good stuff. GarageBand is just too much fun. It’s almost too easy. What I made today is just over a minute long. Quickly put together, edited in haste. Drum loop with three layers of my bass guitar using different effects over it. My instant thought, besides making Don listen to it, is that there is a lot of room to grow. Some of the loops are less than to be desired, but that just makes me want a midi keyboard. I’m thinking really hard about that one.

As quick as she came into town, Renee is heading back to the sunshine state tomorrow. It was so good to get a great, big hug from her. We talked, laughed, joked, laughed, and laughed some more. Bill made a brief appearance, but didn’t fail to completely amaze me. The guy is joining the Navy. He could be a great business man or a lawyer, but he is following his dad’s footsteps and seeking adventure. Best of luck, man. Evelynn is getting married this summer. It’s a mad, crazy world.

Don Deeley is a great, amazing man. He gets huge props this round for Mountain Goats and Dismemberment Plan goodness. Thank you!

everything in colors instead of black and white

Ever have one of those morning where you feel that the world is against you in your desperate attempts to get some sleep? That was me this morning. The power went out. A party raging on down the street until the early morning hours. Cell phone call here. Noisy neighbors there. They were all out to get me. I got my sleep, but not what I truly wanted. I love my Saturday mornings these days.

I finally watched Lost in Translation last night. What started out as a meager effort to have something on while I fell asleep turned into staying up until 2:30AM. I just couldn’t stop watching the film. I know many of you understand that fact simply because it’s a great movie. I’m not arguing with that. Script, acting, cinematography, and so on were just superb. On the flip side to it, the use of Tokyo as the main setting just kept me riddled with floods of memories. Shots of Mt. Fuji, the customs, subway stations, train stations, taxis, the maze of neon… I’m Japan-sick now.

Renee is in town and just called me. Meeting her in about a hour. Get to see Bill, too. Yay! Good souls! Yay!

something happens and i’m head over heels

I thank that this week is over, but I don’t really feel accomplished. When things get busy at the station for everyone else, people don’t seem to need assistance from my neck of the woods. Lately, my strength has been needed more than my brains. Perhaps that is why I feel so tired. The past few weeks had me pushing myself to the limits. Little to sleep, little to eat, but a lot to do. So when a “dead” week like this one rolls in, I kind of feel like I’m not pulling my weight around here. There’s projects to do, but when there is paperwork to be done, I’m made to sit on my hands. Brains versus brawns. My brain is feeling left out.

A new addiction has begun. GarageBand. A minor attempt at just seeing what I could do with it last night turned into a three hour adventure. Before I knew it, I cut four tracks over some loops and samples. I dove into my closet and brought out my assortment of audio connectors and cables, trying this and that. Within minutes, I was surrounded by cords like Indiana Jones and the Raiders of the Lost Ark. I was giddy with all the noises and effects I could create with just my bass guitar. And then, a fatal error. I messed with the beats per minute. The timing on the tracks were thrown off. Everything went out of sync. It was late. I had to work early this morning. I claimed defeat.

Holy crap, I bought Real Genius on DVD last night. As soon as I came home, I ripped off the plastic packaging and tossed it in. At first, I just put it on for some background noise while I made dinner. Nope, didn’t even get that far. I plopped down on the floor and didn’t move. After that, I had to bust out my Tears for Fears. I just laughed and laughed. Such a good movie.

“I didn’t want you guys to think I was stuffy. You know, no fun. All brain, no penis.”

a life of possibilities

You don’t really understand how tied down your life is to technology until that technology becomes unavailable. Just yesterday, I had to order a new cell phone battery. I can go about one day and it dies. Some days are better than others. By ten this morning, I was already down to two out of four bars. Used to be that I could go about four or five days without recharging. I know it’s being whinny, but wait till you go through it. You’ll have that moment. “This sucks! And now I have to buy a new battery?!” You’re tied to technology, even if you claim to not use it that much or avoid it. How else are you reading this right now?

On my running route this morning, I finally got the courage to run through the cemetery a few blocks away from my apartment. It was quite odd. I don’t know if it’s the proper thing to do, but I decided to go for it. All around me were the sounds of crows calling out as the gray sky above threatened rain. Very quiet otherwise. Don’t know if I’ll tempt this venture ever again. If it is bad luck to do this said thing, I figure that all my luck in the past few years might negate any such cursing. Two negatives have to equal a positive, right?

It’s supposed to get cold this weekend. In fact, it might snow. That thought is really upsetting me. For the brief time that we could have snow on the ground, it is going to be brown from all the mud that is everywhere. I constantly cycle shoes that sit outside my apartment door, letting the ones caked in mud dry in the hallway. Driving out to one of the transmitters today, the road about slid me into the ditch on the gravel access road. The tires must have sank at least two inches into the muck. At that point, you just let off the gas and pray that you just keep going straight ahead. When you go out solo, especially in my position, the last thing you want to do is to make that all embarrassing phone call back to the office. I’m not ready for that yet.

Ben Folds, “Rockin’ the Suburbs.” I have completely forgot how good this album is. He‘s coming to town in May, you know?