try to rearrange the things that i have done and said


The epitome of geek:

Two magazines in my mailbox when I get home. One is a Dell product catalog. The other is a MacWorld. Why or how it is that I get either of these publications confuses me. Still, I laughed out loud to myself… in the hallway… by myself.

I often wonder what my neighbors think about me.

like a morse code message that was sent from me to me

The worst thing about snow is snow. The best thing about snow is snow. And I can’t tell exactly what it is, but winter is starting to phase me less and less. Fourteen inches in some places. I hardly noticed. You drive a little slower, swerve around corners, let the car warm up at least ten minutes before you go anywhere. It’s quite simple really. Naturally it takes the first snowfall for everyone to grow accustomed to it. I’m not saying I like it. I’m just used to it.

Little thought goes into other people who live around here. Schools are closed. Businesses are shut down. I’d love to have a day off from work due to the weather, but at the same time, I’m not sure what I’d do with myself. Being stuck inside all day has the ability to drive me nuts. If you can’t go somewhere to buy food or a sled, what’s the use?

I love the snow. I hate the cold.

i’m nothing different but i just don’t feel the same


It should only take you four hours to get to Lawrence, Kansas from Iowa City. Interstate all the way, piece of cake. I knew we’d be leaving late, but our adventure set out to Cedar Rapids, back to North Liberty, brief stop in Polk City, and four orders of chicken wings in Des Moines later, we were finally on the road. Heath picked me up around half past six from my apartment. By this point, it was midnight.

Knowing Heath like I do, this wasn’t completely unexpected. At the same time, I had a hunch that he had probably not slept a whole lot the night before, working the entire day before he picked me up. About sixty miles into Missouri, my guesses were right on track. I won’t be the last person to say that sleeping and driving are a bad thing. At the point where I watched him with his head leaned slightly to the side, front end of the van swerving across the center line, mouth gnawing on some piece of candy in a desperate attempt to stay awake, I thought maybe I should drive before all of us die. However, we were only traveling at around 35 miles per hour, so the resulting crash wouldn’t have been horrible. In my mind, I couldn’t help but picture some speeding semi doing about seventy-five when it took out Alex and Nikky in the back seat.

“Is there anything I should know about this van?” Heath said it should be perfectly fine. Going eighty on the speedometer, we’d be there by four in the morning.

there’ll be no distance that can hold us back


Life in the world is less than perfect, but then it stands to reason with my reasoning. Life is too short to worry about all the little things. So many people wait for the new year to be a time for cleansing. A time to start over. A time to start new. Why? What’s the point? Why wait? Do it when you want to. Don’t wait for a good time. Just start.

Resolutions should be banned. Every year, I see the same thing. To eat better, work out more, lose weight, save more money… Call it the spontaneity in me, but when I feel that there is something in my life that I need to work towards, I want to start doing it as soon as I can. Goals are just that; something to make your life better. They are they to make you feel better. Accomplishments do that for you.

Suddenly, there are more people out running. There are more people working out. As the months progress, it will become less and less. Eventually, the regulars I pass by on my running routes will be just that. The new year will fade away, as will the goals that people set for themselves.

Who has time for resolutions when I have all this other crap to do?

you can’t place why


When the world is full of madness, the world does a good job of reminding you that we, as human beings, are just a pawn in a much bigger game. We don’t know the rules, there’s very little we can do about anything, and there is no stopping it. The enemy here has no face, emotion, feeling, or remorse for what it does. The best thing you can do is just get out of the way and pray you live to see tomorrow.

I think out of all the things in the world, this is what I fear and am enthralled with the most. Earthquakes, tsunamis, meteors, tornados, hurricanes… In a flash, these things can destroy everything that has been for as long as any memory can recall. Here today, gone tomorrow. And the most insane part of it all is that the next day, the world around the destruction goes on like normal. People move on, rebuild, remember, forget, and repeat.

My heart goes out to those affected by the recent events in the Indian Ocean. It’s amazing, gut wrenching, and terribly saddening. I’m just wishing that there is something I can do.

nothing matters and what if it did


I have two main problems in my life right now. The first is that it’s too cold outside, and the other is that my tea is too hot. I could remedy this problem by simply putting my cup outside for a minute or two, but with it being so bitterly below freezing, I fear some sort of explosive event. Even though the destructive side in me would like to see if it could do some damage, there is no way I am going out there to experiment. Jim summed it up the best way today; “It just hurts.” Trust me, I can handle it, but I’m going to complain anyway.

It could be worse. I could have done all my shopping today. Thankfully I just had a few things to pick up. No big deal, but the time spent in the world of commerce was mildly annoying. Yes, this is the time for giving. However, this is also the time for painful indecision. This fact goes beyond shopping. It applies to everything that can be made through a simple yes or no answer. Yellow or gray? Eat in or to go? Left, right, straight? Wait, that’s three options. The rate of difficulty just went up ten fold. There is no hiding from it. You are not safe. It’s best to just stay home… where it’s warm.

Urge to kill… fading… fading… gone.

spinning like a discoball world


I’m beginning to think that new years would be much better spent in the south. Kansas to be exact. On the road with Heath, Qi Qi, Ryan, and some girl I’ve never met but have been told that is his girlfriend. I say it’s just a road trip of biblical proportions that is bound to turn Muffin and Eric’s wonderful home upside down. This is going to be good.

Holy crap I forgot how much fun the Mad Capsule Markets are. Not for the faint of heart, but oh how I love thee.

that is that and this is this


It goes without saying that being with loved ones is very important this holiday season. Heading home to spend time with those that mean so much to us is important, more so if you give in to what this time of year means. Sure, there is the whole exchanging of presents and so on, but the memories of christmas past are what stick with you most.

However, what is really bothering me is my neighbor who has apparently left town for such purposes, leaving his alarm clock to go off at 5:30 every morning. I would go as far to say that his bedroom must be opposite of the wall where I lay my head, the alarm clock being at the same level and location on the other side. I can’t hear anything else when it comes to my neighbors, but this just pierces straight through, waking me up quite annoyingly.

A whole week of this?… Oh boy, I can’t wait.

i don’t get many things right the first time


There are elements of those things I get obsessed about that tend to drive me completely nuts. Take TV for example. I have such a love/hate fascination with pop culture. One minute I can try to enjoy an episode of a sitcom, the next minute I find the audience laughter worse than nails on a chalk board. Reality programming perks me up for a few seconds, but I quickly feel it all being the same and uninteresting. Music video channels are great, but it can get as sugary as commercial radio, except the pictures make it just that much more painful.

I blame a lot of it on education. It’s something anyone should keep in mind when they come to college with a media studies track on their mind. Quite honestly, it’s a lot of fun to sit around class rooms and talk about the social impact of television and radio, but nothing seems the same when you take your favorite television show and are forced to write an eight page paper about it regarding some deeply ethical topic you examined in class. This can be applied to many aspects of study, but we’re talking about entertainment here.

Of course, all this is done to enlighten you to different ideas and theories that otherwise wouldn’t be considered unless you were stuck in a room listening to such things. Once it’s there, the bad taste left in your mouth takes a lot of time to get rid of.