Author: John Bollwitt

I watch those commercials on TV where online dating services have led to the marriage to the grossly happy couples you see on the screen. Such and such were married on this and that date. So many couples successfully matched and made happy. We put together our users this way and it’s so much better because of this really intelligent graphic that displays some sort of statistic or pie chart. Mind you they explicitly say the word “user” in referring to people who log onto their service; other people commonly called “users”: drug addicts.

What I would really like to see are the percentages of people who are horribly pissed with the service. Let’s see the statistics of how many have had to file restraining orders on other “users.” How about those who were horribly deceived by some fourteen year old claiming to be a rich executive with a condo in St. Martin. It goes without mentioning about those who failed to have the “six pack abs” that they touted so much about.

Dating services are nothing new, but if you want to talk about stats, you stand the same chance of success that you do at a bar or church function. Now if you have to pay for the service, then it must be a good one, right? You might have a point, but I can also steer you towards clubs with steep prices and over priced religious events for all your dating needs.

I feel so bloated right now it’s not funny. I bought into the whole, “Hey, this only happens once a year.” I believe this is a good thing, but if it were true, then why does Old Country Buffet exist? Anyhow, you couldn’t have asked for a better day. No snow, plenty of sun, and crowded roads speeding perfectly over the posted limits everywhere you went. I barely got into the festivities before having a margarita in my hand and shoving food into my face. Pretty sweet.

The first thing I noticed on my way home tonight were lights. The decorations are everywhere you look. I would say that it’s great, but not when you’re driving. I love to look at all pretty, blinky things. The problem is that it takes away from the deer I should be looking out for so I do not have one wandering through my windshield.

“Oooo… That’s pretty cool… I like that one, too… Oooo… That was a HUGE blood splatter on the road… Hey, I like the use of blue on that house….”

I heard the rumor today. It’s not too hard to believe. I checked a few hours ago, but let me check again… Yeah, so far everything I’ve heard says it’s true. Still, it’s hard to fathom, but the timing seems about right. When it all happens, then I’ll believe it. They already predicted it twice so far, but I haven’t seen any snow… yet. That could change tomorrow.

Styrofoam has collaborated with Ben Gibbard. That’s all you really need to know for today.

End of lesson.

I’m still not used to this whole commuting to work thing. It’s not that I can’t handle it or am complaining about the fact that I’m not as close to work as I used to be. The time it takes is more time I get to listen to my iPod. Oh wait, did I just say that? I meant to listen to the air signals of both stations to ensure that our broadcast quality is acceptable, with the occasional eavesdropping on my old college radio station. Yeah, that’s what I meant to say.

My only problem with driving to work is the the rest of the people on the road. Life would be so much better without half to all of them being there. Granted that there are a few intelligent people in the world, myself on the top of said list, there is just something about morning traffic that brings out the most inept.

Merging onto the interstate while on your cell phone, not a good idea. Blueberry muffin in hand while the other is driving and shifting, I don’t think so. Smoking a cigarette and talking on your cell phone while driving a stick shift, do I need to say more? If I’m driving along and singing to myself, don’t look at me funny from the left lane. Look at the road in front you, dumb ass.

I recall a time where everyone was relieved that the age of nuclear proliferation was over. I remember the tail end of the Cold War in bits and pieces. The fall of the Berlin Wall, the collapse of the Soviet Union, and so on. People rejoiced in the fact that we no longer had to worry about global destruction at the hands of something invented less than a century ago. I mean, did you ever see War Games with Matthew Broderick? That freaked me out.

The race is on again. The difference is that there are more players involved this time around. Just like computers and DVD players are cheap, easy, and affordable, so are weapons capable of erasing entire cities from existence.

I remember growing up in the hot summer sun back home. There was always a short window of time where water gun fights were the in thing. Suddenly we were all going home to our parents and asking for money so we could go hit the drug store to stock up. Everything changed the year the Super Soaker came out. They kept getting bigger, able to shoot further, and the thing everyone had to have. The more you and your neighborhood cronies had in your arsenal, the less the other factions in the area would mess with you.

Global conflict would be the greatest thing in the world if it were settled with a good water fight. If this were true, I would so be working for the UN at this very second.

I’m going to start this simply by letting my process take control without much thought for editing. There stands a chance that just typing things as they come to mind might let you into how this week has been for me. Right now, I’m sitting in my office, trying to sort out the last few hours of a Friday. The week hasn’t been rough, just ongoing. Never stopping. Perpetual motion of events and problems to solve.

I’m partially to blame. I slept for a few hours last night prior to seeing Troubled Hubble last night. I had to go. If there would have stood a chance, I would have drove over to Illinois and saw the Life and Times/Centaur show. With Jim out of town, that was a no go. I still had a great time last night. Saw people I haven’t seen in a while, reminded of times long over, and made new memories.

A great show. There are good things in store for those guys. Josh had wonderful news to share, and I hope all goes well from here.

When you are going seventy-five miles a hour down the highway, a thirty-five mile a hour tractor can be instant death. It’s this time of year that steel on wheels can be worse than your standard, furry animal running across the road. They don’t make combines adhere to crash safety standards. If you were to hit one of these things, it would hurt… a lot.

Taking my career and shrinking it down to a few pieces of paper is hard. In fact, it was a lot harder than I thought it could ever have been. There are details that you have to take and mesh them into an overall statement about what it is that you have done or know how to do. My problem with this whole radio thing is that nothing I have done is that focused. My experience is all over the place.

Yes, I love working in radio. The problem is that I like it all.

I’m in the midst of regrouping my resume. It truly is not an easy task, but I’m getting there. The last one I put together was easy because there was not a whole lot to put together. Since then, my list has grown to proportions that I only dreamed and wished of obtaining. Now it’s a game of what counts and what doesn’t. On top of that, what am I forgetting? Is there something I’m leaving out that would be the golden ticket for a catapult into the future? Talk about nerve racking, not too mention this headache that I have.

In the depths of my hard drive tonight, I found memories from KRUI that were long forgotten. Pictures from events that were some peak times in my career there. Inside all of that, I’m reminded of how much time, blood, sweat, and tears I put into that place. A tiny, 100-watt, college radio station that consumed nearly every once of free time that I thought I could put into it. I was always thinking forward as to what the place could become, never how it would be when I was long gone.

I remember now, so clearly, when Adam, Ben, and I first put the simulcast onto the internet. The first phone call of some one requesting a song from San Diego. That really stuck it in my veins. It felt so good, and I wanted more.

Amazing how simple pictures and sounds will kick start your brain like that.

The other day at the station, we had a purging of some of the records we have had in our library for ages. A lot of it was opera, of course. However, I did find some absolute gems… Dave Brubeck & Paul Desmond, Herbie Hancock, Billie Holiday, and some Miles Davis. Oddly enough, I also found the original motion picture soundtrack to Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home. Remember, this is vinyl. Too funny…

It’s incredible to watch people’s reaction when they don’t have computer access after they rely on it every single day. It’s like watching a kid who has lost his or her parents at Disney World. They pace and wonder. They know they need something, but they don’t know what it is. Sure, it is that urge… No, the need to check their email. They don’t want to admit it. They would like nothing more than for you to hurry up and get their computer working.

It’s almost enough for me to work that much slower, just for kicks.

There are some people in this world who wear fanny packs. My dad is one of those people. At least he has somewhat good uses for such things. It’s more in the same vein of what one could refer to as a utility belt in the same sense of what a super hero would use it for. Inside his, you might find his digital camera, useful tools, or perhaps a pack of gum. No big deal as he also carries a wallet. The pack attached to his hip is quite useful and applied very well.

For the rest of the general population, I don’t think fanny packs are such a good idea. Sure, it’s better than stuffing your pockets and wallets full of whatever it is that you need to carry around, but I think there is a bigger issue here. Flashy, bright colored bags, or dare I even mention neon, should be against the law. There is nothing worse than saying, “Look at me world! My life is so much better than yours because I’m wearing a fanny pack! Yeah!… Take that! I have a fanny pack!”

Great for vacations and hiking expeditions, but not the mall or grocery store. Please.